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When Will It Be Enough?

I try to be as positive as possible when I write. I believe in optimism. I believe that we can only make the world a better place when fueled by the knowledge that progress is happening on a daily basis, because it truly is.
However, more and more I feel like the universe is trying to get a message through to me. That maybe what we need even more than the reminder of our progress is the passion to change the way that things are today fueled by the vicious anger that we feel in regards to the situations that god places before us.
My friends keep getting sick. Not just a little sick, a lot sick. I had to take a step back and recognize the other day that I was reaching out to a close friend who is a breast cancer survivor to learn how to be more supportive to another friend who just found out that she has cancer too.
I have to sit here with my head spinning and remind myself that it is not okay that I have multiple friends who have dealt or are dealing with breast cancer! It is not oka…

Woman: A Community Project

Do you ever sit and wonder how much of your own personality is made up of what the other people in your life want, expect, suggest, have trained, or downright demanded that you be?
I don’t think that we do question ourselves about this very often, especially as women, because the answer is pretty frightening.
Don’t get me wrong: Men have gobs and gobs of their own problems, the primary of those being that they can’t seem to help themselves from wanting to put their penis in and on everything that they see, but this isn’t about them. It is about us.
We have been tricked into believing that we have lots and lots of options.
If we are lucky enough to grow up with caring and supportive parents, we even believe that we have had the option to decide what to study, and what to create, and who to love…but that is not as true as we think that it is.
I had very open-minded parents, and I was an only child, but even at a young age I was being taught that certain people did not make appropriate…

I Hope You Grow Up and Learn to Like Mayonnaise

I have been mom-ing since I was twenty-four years old, and I started out with teenaged foster boys.
I settled pretty firmly into the mom role from that point on, and it extends strongly to all of my close friends.
I make homemade soup for my friends when they are sick. I chase after people when they have been visiting to make sure that they have water and a snack for the trip home. I watch my friends who perform on stage over and over again like a proud little mother hen. Random children will come up to me when they are hurt or need help, and conversely do their best to stay away from me if I happen to notice that they are behaving badly. It is pretty funny.
I have some pretty solidly set opinions about behavior, and maturity, and growing up.
I believe that people should be expected to do and say deeply moronic things until they hit the age of about twenty-seven. I don’t believe in coddling children in any manner; I treat them like miniature adults. I believe that baby talk encourag…

The Best Of Times And The Worst Of Times

The Dave Matthew’s Band’s song Two Step is my theme song for life. It basically exemplifies how I feel about my existence on earth. I see my life as a gift, and seek always to celebrate that gift in every moment of life that I can.
A also tend to be a believer in the ideal that a life lived observing moderation, will be a far more successful, far more empowering, and generally happier life than a life lived observing abstinence.
I honestly have a strong belief that abstinence, in so many areas of life, leads to depression, disempowerment, and destruction for numerous people who believe that it is the only way to go.
We have seen glaring examples of this with priests who have been given the burden of living a life of sexual abstinence, and yet we often fail to look closely at the burden that we are putting on an addict when we tell them that they are powerless over their disease, and that they must beg and plead for some greater power to help them avoid what they long for, for the re…

Victim Status

My husband and I have discussed many times, how when a person chooses to classify himself or herself as a victim, it is often a lifetime status that they find themselves stuck in and unable to escape, as though they are forever living under a dark cloud.
It is very difficult to talk to people who have suffered, either from harm directed at them from someone else, or from a random act of the universe, and explain to them that they have a personal responsibility for what has happened to them.
I struggled with the idea for years because it can sound like this sort of approach puts us in a place where we are actually blaming victims for somehow causing the harm that has befallen them.
If you really think about it however, this actually does the opposite, because the idea of having responsibility is ultimately, and always, empowering. It is the absolute best way to help walk someone out from under that eternal dark cloud that seems to stick to him or her so relentlessly.
I was talking wit…

Super-Fun Angry Aggressive Unsatisfied Land! (Adult Language)

Anyone who works in customer service has come across this one particular breed of individual who doesn’t seem to be made happy by anything on earth. I swear, in the past, I have worked with human beings who would not have been satisfied if I had stabbed myself repeatedly as penance for their entirely irrational disgruntlement.
I was once accused of being racist by a customer in my flower shop, because although we carried candles with little pink-skinned pilgrims, we did not have any with little African American pilgrims on them. Mull that over for a sec before the obtuse irony hits you.
I have decided that this variety of homo sapiens is an untapped market that is in dire need of exploitation, especially after the way that they have been torturing all of us for all of these years.
There is one glaring reality that I believe holds true for each and every one of them. They are bored as hell, and they all need something to goddamned do. If they did not have gobs and gobs of free time on…

Brown Rice Spaghetti with Broccoli and Brown Butter Sauce

It is easy. It is healthy. It is delicious, and it is a good way to get the kids to eat broccoli, even if you have to blindfold them. This recipe is gluten free, vegetarian, and follows the guidelines of the type O diet. For type O avoid the parmesan cheese.
1 - 16 oz. package brown rice spaghetti 1 bunch fresh broccoli – cleaned – cut into one inch pieces 1 stick salted butter ¼ c. olive oil 1 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. coriander salt to taste parmesan or crumbled feta cheese

In a medium sized pan, bring about six cups of salted water to a boil. Remove the water from the heat, add the broccoli, and stir the broccoli in the water for one minute before draining the broccoli in a colander. Set the broccoli aside to cool.
In a small pan, heat the melted butter over medium heat until it begins to boil rapidly and increase in volume. Lift the pan from the heat and stir the butter gently until it stops bubbling. Place the butter back on the heat and repeat three or four times, until the but…

Tuna Cakes

This is a recipe that I decided to put together using the ingredients that I normally employ to make crab cakes. I was delighted to discover that the same method creates absolutely delicious tuna cakes as well. In this recipe, I use chunk light skipjack tuna. I choose this variety consistently because the tuna is species specific, dolphin safe, and free school caught. It is also absolutely delicious tuna.
2-7oz cans of tuna - well drained 5 mini bell peppers – cleaned – seeded – diced 3 scallions – well rinsed – thinly sliced 2 eggs 1 c. mayonnaise 1 tbsp. garlic powder ¼ tsp. cayenne pepper ½ to 1c. garbanzo bean flour 2 tbsp. olive oil


After the tuna has been well drained, combine it with all of the other ingredients, excluding the flour and the olive oil, in a medium sized mixing bowl. Cover the mixture, and allow it to rest in the refrigerator for two to twenty-four hours.
When the mixture is removed from the fridge, drain off any excess liquid that has appeared in the bowl. Add …

Thank You Mom And Dad

I remind parents regularly that nothing affects our children as strongly as the way that they observe us living our lives. I didn’t have perfect parents, and I don’t believe that anyone does, but I did have really great ones. I wanted to point out a few of the seemingly small choices that they made in my childhood that had a profound impact on me, and helped to make me the person that I am today.
*Thank you for loving food; for cooking at home, for teaching me how to cook, and for having a deep and abiding respect for food culture.
*Thank you for being readers. I am sure that I was read to often as a child, but it is not something that I remember. What I do remember is that both of my parents often had reading materials in their hand. I remember going to the library and checking out books together.
*Thank you for encouraging travel. My parents loved to go to new places and see new things. They were brave enough to send me to France when I was fifteen, and it had an overwhelming impac…

Present Parenting: Trade This For That

There are simple activities that we get in the habit of enjoying with our kids that simply do not generate the same level of engagement as others do. I noticed this last night when my husband and I were discussing our days and we were shushed by the children because they wanted us to pay attention to a segment of a show they had pulled up on Netflix: this is not good. Here are some ideas for letting go of old activities in favor of more interactive ones.
Trade: Going out to dinner together for…
Cooking At Home. This can even be expanded into looking for a recipe online together, shopping for the food, and then cooking and eating together, depending on the time that you have available.
Trade: Going out to a movie together for…
Taking A Hike. For people living in more urban areas it is great fun just to take a walk in the city. We spent almost our entire vacation out in Portland Oregon this summer walking around and exploring the town. Walking together provides lots of time for convers…

Ten Resolutions To Make For Your Kids This Year

We all hear over and over again that our kids are learning by example. Although we know that this is true, while battling through the chaos that is parenting, it is easy to backslide on our ideals. Here are twenty simple goals that each of us can make to help create a more positive, progressive, supportive environment in which we can set a healthy example for our children in the coming year.
1.Stop putting yourself down! Of course, the goal is for us not to do this in front of our kids, but ultimately, if we learn not to do it to ourselves at all, we will not slip up and do it in their presence. Even a child catching us in the bathroom, frowning at the scale or at our image in the mirror can set an example for them to be more self-critical. If we think highly of our own selves, and place greater value upon what is on the inside instead of what we see on the outside, our kids will follow suit. 2.Don’t tell lies. I know that this can be particularly hard for people who have grown up in s…