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Sick Mommy





I was down for the day yesterday. I knew that I had a sinus issue coming on, but I pushed myself too hard, as moms will tend to do, and I ended up in bed for a day.

This piece will not apply to mothers only, but whichever member of the family that the primary home maintenance falls upon. My husband works from home now, but his mind is still not aware of things like messes piling up, or whether or not the kids are completing all of their assignments for school.

I have been through some rough spells in the past. I have had three toddlers and myself stuck in the middle of the living room floor, sick with the flu and puking into a bowl because I could barely move, while my husband had to be at work.

As the kids get older, it gets simpler. Everyone usually is not puking all at once, and I am typically not down at the same time as the children. Unfortunately however, my kids have discovered that when I am sick, it is an awesome time to go ape-shit, and break all of the rules.

Consequently, the day, or few days, after mom is finally feeling better is a time when I have to deal with the fallout of what has happened to our house, and force the children to catch up on everything that they have put off doing in school for the past couple of days.

In addition to that, the children are sometimes going through withdrawal from the lawless environment that has taken over the house for the past couple of days.

Today, my youngest daughter is in disruption mode. She is doing anything and everything that she can think of to interrupt everyone else in their efforts to re-establish a normal routine. Just now I had to force her to close the window in her room, which she had opened wide to forty-degree temperatures.

As the home managers, you can imagine how this type of behavior makes us want to hibernate perpetually and never get back out of bed again, once we have been sick.

I imagine the utopia that childless individuals awaken to after they have been sick, where a troupe of undisciplined children has not turned their home into a battleground while they were stuck in bed. It must be lovely.

Each time that I am sick it helps to remind me how much I do throughout the day. I answer inane questions to simple problems that my children are completely capable of solving on their own, and yet they do not.

When I am sick I do not even have the strength to raise my voice so that I can prevent a couple of them from squabbling with each other, which happens about a billion times a day, and I never see it as clearly as I do when I have no strength to stop it.

Just a reminder to share with the universe: Parents do the hardest job in the world. If you want a vague idea of how difficult it is give herding cats a try, then try herding cats while sick.

 Always remember to thank parents for what they do, especially when they do it well. The good parents in my life mean the absolute world to me.   

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Actually...

I actually really dislike Oprah Winfrey as a talk show host and television personality.

I was home with my kids when they were babies and I had her show on a lot. Then at one point I remember her and her friend going into a Walmart and just cracking up over the fact that they were so frigging isolated by their current wealth that they didn’t understand how things worked there. Like the way that the plastic hangers operated or something…

I remember being absolutely disgusted at their behavior. Not only that someone who presents her life story as having grown up in poverty would turn around and make fun of the fact that she doesn’t understand how people who are not as well off as her would live, but additionally to think that her audience is so much less intelligent than she is that not one of us would be offended by her behavior.

Well I was, and I haven’t watched a thing that woman has put out in the past ten years.

I do think she is a brilliant actress though, even so, I couldn’t watch …