We finally upgraded to a king sized bed this year; we started out twelve years ago in a queen that we co-slept with our twins in. Ironically, even with the greater amount of space that we have in bed we still seem to stick right next to each other even though we finally have some room to stretch out. In almost all cases, scientists will say that across the board, men sleep quite a bit more deeply than women. It has also recently been proven that women require more sleep than men to function normally. I know that this is true in our case because I get up to pee a few times each night, and I don’t know if I ever fell into a good deep sleep before our youngest daughter was five or so. Most people are not aware that mothers sleep with one ear open, so to speak. At this point my kids are sleeping pretty soundly, but still, I am not. I remember as a child how my mother used to lock the cats out of the bedroom because they always woke her up in the night.
Often, I go to sleep before my husband gets home from work. In the past, I often stayed up and waited for him to get home so that we could spend time together while the kids were sleeping. That left us going to bed so late some nights that I have given it up for the most part. I often wake up now at three or four in the morning, just after my husband has come to bed and clamped onto me with a grip that resembles the Jaws of Life. I have to change position a lot when I sleep because I get muscle aches if I do not, so I will usually pry myself out of his grip before making a trip to the bathroom and then return to whichever side of the bed he is taking up less space on. Most nights, the grip doesn’t come back for a second appearance but the elbow does every single night. He likes to sleep with his arms behind his head or above it and by some bionic power it always seems to be directly aligned with my eye socket. I cannot explain how many elbows in the eye I have received over the years, by him alone. I try to move his arms so that his elbows are not aimed at my eyes during the night, but if you have ever tried to move a deeply sleeping man you know how hard this can be.
Moving on, he also likes to sleep directly on top of the covers. I often wake up late in the morning, cold and sometimes shivering, and have to wrestle for a good fifteen minutes to pull out just that little eight square inches of blanket that I need to cover my shoulder. Then later in the morning, he usually wakes out of that deeper sleep and throws the covers over both of us before pulling me into his arms again where I start to get hot and sweaty as a result of all of his body heat. I have tried two blankets, and somehow he always ends up sleeping on both of them.
All of this is hilarious to me because my husband doesn’t snore, and he only occasionally grinds his teeth, plus he usually always smells good, so I am pretty blessed as married women go. The thing that cracks me up is that I have been getting teased by my husband, and my children, as well as many of our close friends for years about my love of sleeping in in the morning. I don’t think any of them understand exactly how little sleep I am actually getting during the night. This morning while I was trying to catch an hour of sleep, my husband was outside repeatedly banging a beach ball into our bedroom wall behind my head. I could hear him on the phone, so I guess it was part of his creative process, and he had no idea he was keeping me from sleeping. Anyways, this is just a gentle reminder to all of you guys out there that the lady in your life most likely does not sleep as soundly as you do. If you love her, let her sleep.