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I love it so damn much. Aside from my family and friends there is really nothing that I love more. If you asked me if I would rather sit down for a nice meal or have an orgasm…I would probably go for the meal. When I close my eyes and picture the perfect place to be, it is sitting at a huge table, surrounded by family and friends, eating a beautiful meal. It is my idea of heaven. And yet, for the past eight years or so, since after my youngest daughter was born, I have been denying myself the very thing that I love.

I had decided that I was tired of being the chubby girl. I had been that way my entire life and I hated it. I weighed over two hundred pounds on my five-foot-six frame after Rory was born, and I decided to make a change. I learned how to exercise, and I stopped eating carbohydrates. I only allowed myself to splurge occasionally, and since that first year that I started, I have been under a size eight. I have yo-yoed back and forth a bit, but I have been pretty committed to it. I have denied myself so very much food. On an average day, I was eating a small serving of meat and cheese and nothing else. This Christmas I was so thrilled that I had a day to cheat, I literally ate so much I made myself sick.

We have been off of refined sugar for a couple of months now as a family. We had already been gluten free, and looking into biological dentistry, I learned that refined sugar and flour in the diet are a cause of poor oral health, so we went off of those as well. I have also been on an Isagenix health regimen with a daily vegan protein shake and vitamins. My body has started metabolizing correctly again because it is getting what it needs instead of storing fat because it starved all of the time…and I am eating food!

Right now we are cooking homemade ketchup in the kitchen and I am going to eat it, on fries! For years, I wouldn’t even touch a tomato unless I had a cheat day. I have been eating a green apple every day, and I had no idea how much I missed them. I feel so good and I have an amazing amount of energy for a woman who is turning thirty-seven in a month. I actually get to indulge in all of the things that I make for the kids to eat every day as well…I am in heaven. I’m not afraid to eat food anymore because everything that I am putting into my body is wonderfully healthy, and because I am reluctant to put non-organic meats in my body, I am eating a mostly vegetarian diet to boot.

Have I gained weight? Yes, I have. I have lost a crap-load of fat and gained a ton of muscle mass, and because I am putting food in my body my boobs aren’t shrinking like they normally do when I lose weight. I am faced with the challenge of embracing an entire new body image. For years and years I was fighting tooth and nail to be a skinny girl, and I have had to come to terms with the fact that I just do not have that body type. Very few people do, and I am a woman, who when she is skinny, is in incredibly poor health…and hungry. I have finally recognized how grateful I should be to be a strong woman. I can put on muscle like nobody’s business. I actually check out my own arms in the mirror now. The most wonderful part is that, besides the fact that I have been reunited with my beloved food, I am finally setting a really wonderful example for my two daughters and my son. I have always been concerned about passing on my body image issues to them. Now all that I am passing on are the keys to eating a healthy diet, and I could not be more thrilled.

Here is my Isagenix link for anyone interested in checking out the excellent nutrition. For anyone interested in checking out my Vegan shake; it is referred to as the lactose free shake on the site:


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