I just said to my husband: “Do you remember reading those family situation comics in the funny paper when you were a kid? Remember how we had no idea really how funny they were because we had never been parents, but they made us laugh anyways? Now I understand them.” I think that if we gave young people even a fractional understanding of just how preposterously difficult it is to keep a child alive and healthy, without allowing them to completely decimate the environment in which they live, it would go a long way in preventing a lot of pregnancies…seriously!
I was talking with my mother yesterday. She is in a situation where my grandmother just passed away, and my mother inherited her home, which is on the same property. My oldest cousin is going to be renting my grandmother’s home form her, which is wonderful, although my mother does have some concerns about what his girlfriend’s children may do to the property. They are very young, I think five and sevenish, and they are children of divorce, and not very disciplined, which is understandably very difficult with children of that age in that situation. I understand my mother’s fears; she has been putting a lot of work into renovating the house.
My children, on the spectrum, are brilliantly behaved, and I could easily write an endless list of the many, many, things that they have destroyed. Even really good children are intuitively destructive. That is why, in a lot of foreign countries, they just keep small children in special places, far removed from the adored possessions of their parents. Knowing what well behaved children can do to a home; the idea of what poorly behaved kids could do is kind of terrifying. I don’t know why they are programmed this way, I have pondered it over and over again and still, I have come up with no explanations.
It is especially prominent in boys. I walked into the kitchen earlier and there were coffee grounds all over the floor. My son has the job of taking out garbage in our house. I called for him and asked him what in the crap had happened and why he had not cleaned up the mess, and he just stared at me numbly as he munched on an apple. Then his sister piped up and told me that the coffee grounds were in his hair as well. At that point he looked at me and shyly started to shake them out. That was what inspired the words: “Ugh…Cyrus. Bahhhhh!” He does these things that completely defy logic or explanation…and he does them often! If you are raising boys, I have undying empathy for your plight. I hope that you survive the journey, and come out at the end, clean and in one piece. Good luck!