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A Short Inspirational Rant That Contains Some Very Bad Words

Do you ever question whether you could be president? It is something that we encourage in children in a placating way. Then we pat them on their heads and we send them along thinking inwardly that it’s never, ever, going to happen, but we have done our good parenting job for the day. Why in the hell couldn’t one of my kids be president, and for that matter why couldn’t I? There is an easy answer to that. Right off the top of my head there are lots of them.

1.     I have never been to college, never even stepped foot inside of a university. And additionally, I don’t really have any desire to. (Not today anyways, I reserve the option of changing my mind.)
2.     I often change my mind…that is a good one. Completely unacceptable in politics.
3.     I have used illegal drugs. I have done it many times and there are a crap-load of witnesses. I would not dissuade my children or anyone else from doing the same. Those experiences have taught me a lot.
4.     I haven’t held a “job” in over ten years…yep lazy me.
5.     I am not a Christian…or a member of any religion.
6.     I am a woman and a feminist.
7.     I believe in socialized medicine.
8.     I believe in free education.
9.     I believe in public transportation, and I really would love to put your SUV in one of those car smashers right now.
10. I smoke cigarettes, I admit it proudly, and I have no desire or intention to quit.

I am the absolute antithesis of what is expected in a political leader, and that is why people like me are needed. And do you know what? To hell with all of that. I could absolutely be president if I wanted to…I don’t really want to be. I think that most adults with a legitimate idea of just what a terribly hard job it would be, and how truly awful it would be for the health and well being of our families, is completely dissuaded by the very notion. That is the problem that we are facing in this country though, it seems like none of the good guys are crazy enough, or have grown balls big enough, to get involved in politics. There is one though. Marianne Williamson is running for Congress in the state of California, and she has a completely spiritually based campaign. There are some amazing people working really damn hard to get her elected, and I believe that they are going to make it happen. Now our responsibility is to keep the damn ball rolling. It is time that we get up off of our complacent asses and become the change that needs to happen in the world. We are right at the very precipice of a shit-storm of positive change. It is our responsibility, we are Americans, and I believe that we are the ones who have the responsibility to set the example for the world. We need to be able to be proud of ourselves again. Our country has the capacity to be a shining example of everything that is right in the world because of our people. It is what we stand for dammit, and we have been letting our country down for too long. We are We The Fucking People. We are smart, and we are strong, and we are brave, and we are good. It is time to stop staring brainlessly at our piece of shit televisions and do our damn job! It’s time to convince yourself that you, yes you, need to get out there and run for city council, or mayor, or congressperson, or even fucking president. It is time to stand up and kick your own ass! It is time to get the pasty, diseased, corrupted people out of our government. When was the last time you even saw one of them who even looked healthy? Why in the hell are we putting up with this? You are desperately needed. This is it people. It is time to get it on.


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1. Stay In

2. Read Books

3. Let it go to Voice Mail

4. Write a Letter

5. Dance

6. Invest in Mood Lighting

7. Have Dinner with Friends 

8. Take Walks

9. Bake

10. Breathe Deeply

11. Enjoy your Morning Coffee

12. Play Board Games

13. Hug your Pillows

14. Adopt a New Ritual

15. Look Around

16. Give a Gift

17. Happy Cry

18. Smile at Strangers

19. Cuddle

20. Savor Small Portions

21. Stretch

22. Take Pictures

23. Use Profanity Freely

24. Give Hugs

25. Listen Carefully

26. Beautify your Space

27. Share your Favorite Movie 

28. Laugh Generously

29. Accept Gifts Gratefully 

30. Give Thanks