Ten Tips for Men…In Regards to Women and Sex (Adult Content)
I know a little bit about sex. Not is it only essential for writing romance novels, but I also studied the subject quite a bit when I was selling adult products for women. Here are a few simple reminders of how we ladies work, for anyone who might need a refresher course:
1. Keep in mind, that as a generality: looking at things turns you on, but feeling them turns her on. Your partner having her eyes closed is not a bad thing, because she is focusing on what she feels, and there are really a lot of women who need to do this to enjoy having sex. Forcing ourselves to look at you appreciatively, while it is a big turn on for you, can be very distracting to us.
2. Messy is not sexy. It can be the fact that the sheets haven’t been cleaned or that there are still dishes in the sink. If her house is clean and her space is at peace, she will be a lot more interested in the idea of fooling around. Helping her to do these things is worth the effort.
P.S. A cleaning service gift certificate is an EXCELLENT present.
3. The more that she trusts you, the better the sex will be. The more honest with her you are, the more she will trust you. Tell your partner the truth, and do not be unwilling to have conversations with her or share personal information. Honesty is very sexy.
4. The more that she thinks about sex, the more she will want to have it. This is why it is a good reason to give in and watch the romantic comedy with her, even if it isn’t your cup of tea. Encourage your partner to read romance. I have talked to so many women about this, and it is consistently good for our love lives. There was a brief period when my husband admitted to me that he was jealous that I would stay up late to read romance novels. When he noticed how much more sex we were having, he got over it pretty fast.
5. Women are like wine we get better with age. Especially, during our childbearing years, and especially if we have young children, our libidos’ can slow down big time. My husband was a very patient man when we were having kids. At a point we had three under three in our house. Nothing felt sexy. As my kids grew older and my life became more balanced, my libido returned with a vengeance. Being patient has its rewards.
6. Thoughtfulness counts. Simply remembering to leave a short note or send a romantic text message can mean the world to a significant other. Moms don’t get to focus on ourselves a lot during the course of our day, so it means a great deal to us when someone remembers us and makes a gesture.
7. Date night works. It doesn’t have to be any particular sort of date. For my husband and I, it is mostly sitting on the porch together talking and looking at videos on the Internet. Partners need to have no pressure times, when they can just be together and enjoy each other’s company. This also helps to build the bond of trust.
8. Read a little. There are so many books available on partnership, marriage, and sex in general. Our relationships with our significant others are the most important ones in our lives. Dedicating a little time to reading up on being a better partner is well worth the investment, and it proves to your partner that you are invested in the relationship. Relationships do not work if you do not put work into them.
9. Be willing to accept the fact that no romance is ever going to go as smoothly as it does in a book. I know that every guy would be over the moon if he had a partner that could orgasm fifteen times just at the sight of him, but that is not going to happen. It’s actually pretty difficult for most of us to pull off even one, and that requires very specific and very different attention for each and every woman. So relax, it’s not because of you. Just figure out what it takes for both of you to enjoy yourselves, and be content with whatever that may be.
10. Compliment specific parts of her body, relentlessly. The woman in your life derives a great deal of her self-confidence from how she thinks you feel about her. Don’t just tell her that she is beautiful, pick out your favorite parts and tell her how much they turn you on. The more sexy your partner feels, the more interested she will be in having sex, and the better the sex will be.