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Twenty Things...You Learn Living in Indiana

Twenty Things...You Learn Living in Indiana

1. It's not all flat. The Northern part of the state is very very flat, but the glacier stopped just short of the Southern part of Indy and it is insanely hilly. The hills are beautiful, especially in the fall when the leaves change.

2. The state has different time zones for half of the year. Northern Indiana still does not participate in daylight savings time. As I understand it, it is because of the abundance of dairy cattle. They do not do well with time changes.

3. In rural areas, most people still give directions by telling someone whether to turn North or South, instead of left or right.

4. The state has one of the most beautiful downtown areas that I have ever seen. It is especially beautiful in the wintertime.

5. The corporate decimation of the small family farm has destroyed a great deal of the landscape of the state. There are entire small towns, still barely surviving, because the farms have been lost and deserted.

6. Cows cannot be tipped. It is a myth invented to lure your date out into the pasture at night.

7. You can make a pie out of anything.

8. 4H is a wonderful organization offering amazing opportunities for city kids and country kids alike.

9. The Indianapolis Children's Museum is one of the most amazing museums for children in the country.

10. Snapping beans is an activity akin to meditation.

11. It is better to learn a new colloquialism than to correct someone's grammar.

12. Dessert goes with every meal. 

13. The proper preparation for any green vegetable is to cook it in large quantities of meat juice for many hours, and then cover it with copious amounts of butter.

14.You can buy ANYTHING absolutely ANYTHING at an auction, and if you go to one, you probably will.

15. Sun tea is much better than iced tea, and never to be sweetened.

16. A casserole can cure your friends and neighbors of any illness.

17. The best medicines can be purchased at the feed store.

18. Don't bother asking for the recipe...a Hoosier will give you anything but that.

19. Be very nice to your neighbors, you will need them in case of emergency.

20.  Life is far too short to be a vegetarian.


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Resolve to be Happy

1. Stay In

2. Read Books

3. Let it go to Voice Mail

4. Write a Letter

5. Dance

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7. Have Dinner with Friends 

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9. Bake

10. Breathe Deeply

11. Enjoy your Morning Coffee

12. Play Board Games

13. Hug your Pillows

14. Adopt a New Ritual

15. Look Around

16. Give a Gift

17. Happy Cry

18. Smile at Strangers

19. Cuddle

20. Savor Small Portions

21. Stretch

22. Take Pictures

23. Use Profanity Freely

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25. Listen Carefully

26. Beautify your Space

27. Share your Favorite Movie 

28. Laugh Generously

29. Accept Gifts Gratefully 

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I actually really dislike Oprah Winfrey as a talk show host and television personality.

I was home with my kids when they were babies and I had her show on a lot. Then at one point I remember her and her friend going into a Walmart and just cracking up over the fact that they were so frigging isolated by their current wealth that they didn’t understand how things worked there. Like the way that the plastic hangers operated or something…

I remember being absolutely disgusted at their behavior. Not only that someone who presents her life story as having grown up in poverty would turn around and make fun of the fact that she doesn’t understand how people who are not as well off as her would live, but additionally to think that her audience is so much less intelligent than she is that not one of us would be offended by her behavior.

Well I was, and I haven’t watched a thing that woman has put out in the past ten years.

I do think she is a brilliant actress though, even so, I couldn’t watch …