Skip to main content

My War with the Inanimate

My War with the Inanimate

We all have our little quirks, and I believe that it is very therapeutic to admit them. Oddly enough, this one is one that I share with not only my mother, but also with my grandmother who recently passed away. It probably comes from being relatively clumsy to begin with, and then it transforms itself into an outlet for daily frustration. Maybe I picked it up from observing my mother and my grandmother’s behavior as a child, but to be honest it feels much more natural to me than that. 

I am not a violent person at all. I have a lot of trouble with violence to be honest. I cannot stand to see anything living in pain, but I will beat the crap out of anything that has no pulse, if I find a reason to be angry with it. If I can’t get a container open, I will begin to rip it up or throw it across the room in anger, the whole time believing that the container is doing this out of spite towards me. Yeah, I know. Most particularly if something hurts me. The rational way to say this is: if I hurt myself on something. You know, a cabinet door bumps me in the head, or I stub my toe on the edge of the couch. I will beat the object up. I will call it bad names and hit it and possibly further injure myself in the process.

I have curbed this behavior quite a bit from what it was when I was younger. Just after our twins were born, I believe that I threw a DVD across the room in frustration because I could not open it. My husband very calmly informed me that I could have hit one of the babies and hurt them, and so I found a very good reason to change my behavior. I still feel like beating inanimate objects up very often, but I have toned it down to the point that it is one or two smacks rather than a full on attack. I think that I still live with the vague notion that the non-living objects in my world are in league against me, but then if I look around my house, and take in all of the damage that my children are inflicting on it…well maybe the furniture does have a right to be angry with me.

I guess that it’s a blessing of sorts. I am thrilled that I am compelled to beat up on furniture and appliances, rather than people or animals. I would never think of attacking someone unless I was protecting someone else. And it can be pretty hilarious as well, when I am not in that angry moment, or when I am watching someone else in that angry moment. I saw my mother go after a basket of laundry once, and I swear it was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen. When she noticed me laughing at her we both cracked up over it. Humans are just hilarious.


Popular posts from this blog

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.
1.There is a big difference between a roach and a palmetto bug. Real roaches are the guys from New York. They infest, they are spooky smart, they are dirty and nasty, and you have to work really hard to get rid of them. Palmetto bugs however, are big and creepy and dumb. You usually see them outside at night and they will fly right at your face. They don’t infest because they are native and they can’t survive in our AC temps. 2.Every public indoor place will always be frigid. Most of your friend’s houses will be as well. I take a sweater with me almost everywhere that I go, and if I forget to I regret it. 3.Outside of weather emergencies, weathermen are superfluous. In the rainy season, which is most of the time, there is an eighty percent chance of rain, every single day. The weather man has no idea what time it will rain, how hard, or for how long, and there is no way for him to predict it. You just have to go out there with your fingers cr…

Phineas and Ferb...the positive cartoon.

Phineas and Ferb
I wrote a story previously that went into my dislike of Sponge Bob; so to be fair I will go into my love of the cartoon Phineas and Ferb. I had been adverse to it before I watched it, because I believed that it was probably like everything else that is geared towards kids of the same age group. It is not. The cartoon is completely unique, and as all great cartoons, it is equally enjoyable for children and adults.
The first thing that caught my attention was the unbridled creativity, and innocent intelligence that the two main characters possess. The boys can do anything; the sky is the limit. I believe that this is such a wonderful message for children. We, as parents, limit our own children more than we think. When I first took my kids to their 4H Lego Robotics club, I was completely blown away. I had no idea that my kids could put some blocks together, plug them into a computer, program them, and create a moving robot. An example of kids who can accomplish anything…

Christmas in Florida

Christmas in Florida
December tenth today and I swam my thirty laps in the pool. It’s pretty chilly, but I don’t really feel it after the second lap. I am so grateful that I am able to keep swimming this late into the season. My body responds much better to swimming than it does to running, and I still get a great cardio work out.
This is our seventh or eighth Christmas in Florida now. To be honest, it wasn’t much of an adjustment for me. I have lived in climates where we got tons of snow. I even graduated from high school in Northern Michigan, but I really don’t miss it. I am a worrier, so snow just makes me think of bad roads and car accidents. I think snow is absolutely gorgeous, but I don’t like the cold. I would be perfectly happy if snow stayed on mountains. I would visit it to ski.
I finally convinced my husband for the first time this year that we really did not need a tree. He is partial to real ones, and I have no real love for artificial trees. Not once in all of the years…