Skip to main content

Jack…the jerk in my head.


Jack…the jerk in my head.

I could use stronger language to describe him. He is that voice in the back of everyone’s head, suggesting those terrible ideas that our true selves would never imagine thinking. The name Jack is one that I adopted from my mother. That is who the voice is to her. I believe that for her he comes from the character that Jack Nicholson played in The Witches of Eastwick…for me; I tend to picture his character in The Shining. Either way you look at it; a deep dark, creepy, demonic character…that’s who he is.

The voice is often illustrated by a devil on one’s shoulder. One of my very favorite books is called the Screwtape Letters and, it is written by C.S. Lewis. It is one of the most ingenious explorations into man’s motivation to do good or evil that I have ever read. In my personal belief though, I go with Jack…he has a short convenient name, and it is easy for me to mentally curse him out when I catch him at work. I think that everyone probably understands what I am talking about. The voice exists for all of us, though it is often difficult to admit. Here’s a secret: It is amazingly empowering to admit to someone that you trust, the things that Jack says. Some people are driven insane by the things that they hear in the back of their mind, because they cannot find a way to disconnect these thoughts from their own soul.

Say for example I get a message that my best friend has been in a terrible car accident, and as I am rushing to the hospital the voice pipes in: “If she dies I bet she will leave me her amazing shoe collection!” “Whoa,” I think to myself. “Where on earth did that come from?” It would be a terrible thing to try to admit to someone, it would make me feel like a horrible person. It would…if I didn’t understand that it’s just random, catastrophic, brain junk floating around in my head, and it has absolutely no significance whatsoever. It does not make me a bad person.

As my method of coping, I work hard to recognize when I am hearing that voice that does not belong to me. I identify it and tell it to be quiet. For me it’s a silent “Shut Up Jack!” It is powerful and it is incredibly effective. Accepting the fact that I have voices in my head isn’t difficult for me. I will deal with the one annoying one, because in turn I get all of the muses that inspire me to create the wonderful stories that I am able to put into words. I also get to hear the words of inspiration that come through to me in the voice of my now deceased grandmother.

If you catch your own little voice piping into the back of your head remember that you can control it. Go ahead and name your inner nemesis so you can better personify whom exactly it is you are fighting against. My Jack is a sneaky little bugger; his negativity isn’t always easy to spot. Sometimes it is a few simple words that I hear, words that discourage me, or put me down, or make me afraid. If I remember the truth of my heart, if I recall that these words are not coming from me, but are a challenge that the universe is throwing in my direction; I can control how I choose to react. So I say: “Shut up Jack!” I put the voice in its place and I move on. I don’t need his negativity in my life.

Here is a link if you are interested in reading The Screwtape Letters:





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.
1.There is a big difference between a roach and a palmetto bug. Real roaches are the guys from New York. They infest, they are spooky smart, they are dirty and nasty, and you have to work really hard to get rid of them. Palmetto bugs however, are big and creepy and dumb. You usually see them outside at night and they will fly right at your face. They don’t infest because they are native and they can’t survive in our AC temps. 2.Every public indoor place will always be frigid. Most of your friend’s houses will be as well. I take a sweater with me almost everywhere that I go, and if I forget to I regret it. 3.Outside of weather emergencies, weathermen are superfluous. In the rainy season, which is most of the time, there is an eighty percent chance of rain, every single day. The weather man has no idea what time it will rain, how hard, or for how long, and there is no way for him to predict it. You just have to go out there with your fingers cr…

The Power Of Willful Ignorance

I watched a woman say these words in a speech a few moments ago and nothing could be more true...willful ignorance is insanely powerful. Willful ignorance is the reason that good German people allowed their neighbors to be dragged off by the Nazis in the middle of the night. It is the reason that American people choose to believe our homeless are lazy and irresponsible instead of facing the reality that their situations have arisen because of widespread mental illness and cooperate greed. It is the reason that you will pick up a steak on your way home from work tonight, not bothering to find out where it came from, because you just don’t want to know. The truth is too disgusting.
I have gone on about the meat industry quite a bit and my goal here is not to do that. I love to eat meat, I will state that again, but the example that comes from our consumption of factory meat is so powerful when it comes to explaining willful ignorance that I want to use it. Out of ALL of the many, many,…

Christmas in Florida

Christmas in Florida
December tenth today and I swam my thirty laps in the pool. It’s pretty chilly, but I don’t really feel it after the second lap. I am so grateful that I am able to keep swimming this late into the season. My body responds much better to swimming than it does to running, and I still get a great cardio work out.
This is our seventh or eighth Christmas in Florida now. To be honest, it wasn’t much of an adjustment for me. I have lived in climates where we got tons of snow. I even graduated from high school in Northern Michigan, but I really don’t miss it. I am a worrier, so snow just makes me think of bad roads and car accidents. I think snow is absolutely gorgeous, but I don’t like the cold. I would be perfectly happy if snow stayed on mountains. I would visit it to ski.
I finally convinced my husband for the first time this year that we really did not need a tree. He is partial to real ones, and I have no real love for artificial trees. Not once in all of the years…