Skip to main content

Holding Each Other Up

Holding Each Other Up

I am still stubbornly refusing to watch the movie Titanic. I usually get a few shocked looks when I announce that. Yeah, yeah, it’s incredible and wonderful. To begin with, I’m not too into tragic love stories. I do not find them romantic. I wanted to strangle myself while reading “Wuthering Heights,” and “Romeo and Juliet” is my very most non-favorite play ever written…ever. I cannot stand whiny heroes or heroines! In addition, I avoid all things titanic because I believe that obsessing over the story is disrespectful to the memories of the people that lost their lives. It was tragic, not tragic like Leo dying in the water, tragic like all of the crewmembers that were locked below in the sinking ship. They made a musical for goodness sake…it’s beyond disrespectful.

Anyhow, no way could I have missed the still shots of Kate on the raft or log or whatever, and Leo dying in the freezing water. And they were supposed to be in love? Okay seriously…seriously, there is no way in ---- that I would be sitting on my flotation device while my husband drowned in the water. I mean, I have really thought about this. Those two didn’t even have kids. I could possibly envision one of us begging the other to save himself so that the children still had one parent…but even at that…it is hard for me to imagine.

The scene just rubs me the wrong way, because my heart is imprinted with the mantra that we hold each other up. It’s basic and human, as far as I am concerned. Sometimes I think that my husband worries that I go a little too far with my desire to hold up the ones that I love. When my friend’s mother died a few years ago, I was completely distraught. I was sobbing over it, my husband had to drag me out of bed one morning, and I had never even met my friend’s mother. I simply felt a strong need to support her by mourning along side her. I was mourning what she had lost. I can’t conceive of turning the other cheek when one of my friends needs me. I am proud of that, it has gained me a lot of respect and some seriously wonderful friendships. Not to mention the amazing partnership that I have with my husband. We hold one another up no matter what. When one of us needs the other one we are there; no excuses, no drowning in the cold water.

Does it take a lot of energy? Of course it does, but the energy that I get back from showing up, or pitching in, or simply giving, returns to me many times multiplied. I have learned that one of the best ways to de-funk a difficult day is to reach out and see if I can help anyone else who is having a hard time. It’s actually an incredibly simple process, what’s difficult is getting into the habit of doing it. Like always, teaching ourselves new habits is the hardest part of any transformation. The more that a person goes there, and seeks to find comfort by offering it first, the more automatic it becomes. It is a wonderful behavior. Try it first thing in the morning. Go out and hold someone up, and see how you feel.

If you are interested in learning more about how you can create more alignment in your relationship, click here to check out our new free eBook:



Popular posts from this blog

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.
1.There is a big difference between a roach and a palmetto bug. Real roaches are the guys from New York. They infest, they are spooky smart, they are dirty and nasty, and you have to work really hard to get rid of them. Palmetto bugs however, are big and creepy and dumb. You usually see them outside at night and they will fly right at your face. They don’t infest because they are native and they can’t survive in our AC temps. 2.Every public indoor place will always be frigid. Most of your friend’s houses will be as well. I take a sweater with me almost everywhere that I go, and if I forget to I regret it. 3.Outside of weather emergencies, weathermen are superfluous. In the rainy season, which is most of the time, there is an eighty percent chance of rain, every single day. The weather man has no idea what time it will rain, how hard, or for how long, and there is no way for him to predict it. You just have to go out there with your fingers cr…

Resolve to be Happy

1. Stay In

2. Read Books

3. Let it go to Voice Mail

4. Write a Letter

5. Dance

6. Invest in Mood Lighting

7. Have Dinner with Friends 

8. Take Walks

9. Bake

10. Breathe Deeply

11. Enjoy your Morning Coffee

12. Play Board Games

13. Hug your Pillows

14. Adopt a New Ritual

15. Look Around

16. Give a Gift

17. Happy Cry

18. Smile at Strangers

19. Cuddle

20. Savor Small Portions

21. Stretch

22. Take Pictures

23. Use Profanity Freely

24. Give Hugs

25. Listen Carefully

26. Beautify your Space

27. Share your Favorite Movie 

28. Laugh Generously

29. Accept Gifts Gratefully 

30. Give Thanks

The Power Of Willful Ignorance

I watched a woman say these words in a speech a few moments ago and nothing could be more true...willful ignorance is insanely powerful. Willful ignorance is the reason that good German people allowed their neighbors to be dragged off by the Nazis in the middle of the night. It is the reason that American people choose to believe our homeless are lazy and irresponsible instead of facing the reality that their situations have arisen because of widespread mental illness and cooperate greed. It is the reason that you will pick up a steak on your way home from work tonight, not bothering to find out where it came from, because you just don’t want to know. The truth is too disgusting.
I have gone on about the meat industry quite a bit and my goal here is not to do that. I love to eat meat, I will state that again, but the example that comes from our consumption of factory meat is so powerful when it comes to explaining willful ignorance that I want to use it. Out of ALL of the many, many,…