It isn’t always easy to be supportive; sometimes it’s actually pretty difficult. I am talking primarily about partners here; the people that we make a home with…raise children with…spend a life with. If you are one of the lucky ones out there, you started out with two parents to support you, maybe brothers and sisters as well. You had a few grandparents who would always cheer you on, and teachers and coaches. When we grow up and go out on our own, those people may still be around, but they exist in a different capacity. You are an adult now; you aren’t so cute any more. More skeptical criticism makes its way in your direction. The unconditional support becomes conditional. You may find yourself somewhat alone…
I think that we forget how much our partner in life needs our support. Possibly, it may be more important than anything else that we can give to them. It may be the strongest way to show our love. Being a grown up is not easy, we all take a lot of lumps along the way. If we know that there will always be someone at home who believes in us unconditionally, we feel more secure in ourselves. We have more courage to get out there and to succeed.
It is not, once again, always easy to be supportive. I am definitely not saying that anyone should agree with everything their partner does or every move that they ever make. I believe strongly in individuality, and I want for each individual to be one hundred percent themself. We can all find ways. We owe it to ourselves and to each other to try. Sometimes it is not as hard as you think to put the little gestures out there: “Hey you look really nice today. Thank you for filling my car up with gas. That was really great the way that you helped Jenny get through that homework.” See, that’s not so hard, right?
Right after we moved back to Central Florida my husband got three traffic tickets. Three in a row! They had installed a camera at our intersection and he got two tickets two weeks apart, scooting through the left turn light on red. It happened in the exact same spot, and he had already committed the second violation before we even received the first ticket in the mail. After that he got a speeding ticket on his way to work going fifteen over in a thirty-five. UGH! Tickets suck, they are expensive, and we are on a tight budget. I could have yelled and screamed, or ranted and raved. I didn’t, I knew that they were mistakes and so did he. I am sure that he was just as upset with himself as I was about the whole situation, what good would putting him down for it have done anyone?
It is not, finally, always easy to be supportive. It is essential to attempt to do so however. To your, husband, wife, partner, best-friend; you are their one and only, biggest cheerleader. If you aren’t giving them support, they probably aren’t getting any at all. It has been suggested that affairs happen, not because one partner is out there looking for sex, but rather because they are out there seeking the acceptance and support that they aren’t getting at home. Closing up and closing a partner out is a dangerous mistake to make. A simple compliment can be the lead-in to a highly productive conversation. Simple support can do wonders to bring people closer together.
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