Skip to main content

Planting Seeds

Planting Seeds

It is the first thing that you learn when you become a foster parent. If you don’t learn it fast, I guess that you learn to live with a broken heart. Foster parenting is an incredibly difficult task and one of the most rewarding things that I have ever done. Because of the horror stories that people hear there is a stigma out there that people who foster are all keeping the children in the closet and living high on the hog off of the money that they get from the state. Those incidents make up a tiny fraction of the people who foster children in this country. The stories are gut wrenching and not a realistic representation of the majority of foster families.

In all of my trainings and classes I met absolutely remarkable people who opened their homes and their hearts to kids who just didn’t have anyone else. These kids are not easy to take care of. They have been through horrible experiences and need a lot of extra attention. The idea that people foster for the extra income just cracks me up…the compensation that most states give out to house children, is barely even enough to pay to feed them for a month.

Back to planting a seed…the reason that it was such an important belief for my husband and I to have, is because we knew that we only got to have these children with us for a limited amount of time. When you have to let foster children go…you have to let them go, and sometimes it is right back to the terrible situation that they were taken out of. Maybe some people are different, but I can’t have any sort of relationship with a young person without caring for them. There is no way that you can just shut down the love that you have for a kid you have been parenting for the past year. So you just rely on the seeds. You close your eyes and pray that they will grow and somehow help that child when they are faced with their next difficult situation.

The seeds are life skills, coping skills, words of wisdom and inspiration. Each seed is something that a child can remember to hold onto when they find themselves in a scary place. I do believe that my husband and I managed to plant seeds in the minds of those kids, even the ones that we have lost touch with now.

I remember one night, when I had just gotten pregnant with the twins. My husband was working dinner at his restaurant and two of the boys, we had three at the time, were on visitation at their parent’s houses. I had just one boy home with me, and we were watching TV in the living room.  I had a horrible spell of nausea and paced the floor for about fifteen minutes before I went into the bathroom and threw up. When I came out my foster son’s face was absolutely green. I looked at him and said: “Don’t get girls pregnant.” He nodded numbly at me…I am sure that he remembers that moment to this day.

We are luckily still in contact with our first two foster sons, who are brothers. The pride that they make me feel cannot even be explained. They have both grown into handsome intelligent young men, so tall they will have to look down at me the next time that they see me. They have both been incredibly generous in reminding my husband and myself what a positive impact we have had on their lives. It makes me want to cry, because they were only with us for a year, and all that I did was the best that I could for them. All that I did was try to plant seeds…well; I guess that some of them took root.


Popular posts from this blog

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.

20 Things…you learn after moving to Florida.
1.There is a big difference between a roach and a palmetto bug. Real roaches are the guys from New York. They infest, they are spooky smart, they are dirty and nasty, and you have to work really hard to get rid of them. Palmetto bugs however, are big and creepy and dumb. You usually see them outside at night and they will fly right at your face. They don’t infest because they are native and they can’t survive in our AC temps. 2.Every public indoor place will always be frigid. Most of your friend’s houses will be as well. I take a sweater with me almost everywhere that I go, and if I forget to I regret it. 3.Outside of weather emergencies, weathermen are superfluous. In the rainy season, which is most of the time, there is an eighty percent chance of rain, every single day. The weather man has no idea what time it will rain, how hard, or for how long, and there is no way for him to predict it. You just have to go out there with your fingers cr…

The Power Of Willful Ignorance

I watched a woman say these words in a speech a few moments ago and nothing could be more true...willful ignorance is insanely powerful. Willful ignorance is the reason that good German people allowed their neighbors to be dragged off by the Nazis in the middle of the night. It is the reason that American people choose to believe our homeless are lazy and irresponsible instead of facing the reality that their situations have arisen because of widespread mental illness and cooperate greed. It is the reason that you will pick up a steak on your way home from work tonight, not bothering to find out where it came from, because you just don’t want to know. The truth is too disgusting.
I have gone on about the meat industry quite a bit and my goal here is not to do that. I love to eat meat, I will state that again, but the example that comes from our consumption of factory meat is so powerful when it comes to explaining willful ignorance that I want to use it. Out of ALL of the many, many,…

Crustless Pumpkin Pie

This sophisticated version of pumpkin pie is amazingly smooth & rich. It is also Gluten-Free & free of Refined Sugar. 


29oz pumpkin puree - 1 lg. can
1 stick unsalted butter - softened
8oz cream cheese - softened
5 eggs
1 tbsp. vanilla extract
1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1/2 c. honey
1 c. GF flour 

Whipped cream:

1 c. heavy cream
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Honey to drizzle on top.

Making it Happen:

Combine all of the ingredients for the pie in a mixing bowl and mix on medium speed until well combined. When the batter is smooth, pour it into a greased 9x13 baking pan and bake in an oven pre-heated to 350 degrees for one hour.

Allow the pie to cool for 30 minutes before slicing.

To make the whipped cream, blend the chilled heavy cream in a chilled bowl on high speed until it begins to thicken, add the vanilla and continue blending until the cream is thick. 

Plate pie with whipped cream & drizzle with honey. Enjoy!